22 April 2009

Dear Octopus Technology,

It's pretty clear that we've been waiting a long time for you to make your debut into the world:

This is pretty amazing. Using you, Octopus Technology, we can make robots that can squeeze into the nooks and crannies of the ocean floor.

But what other Cephalopod Creations can we conjure up?

We can think of a some:
  • Octopus Hand: We would easily replace our own lame and inferior human hands with Octopus Hands. These would be hands that can grab the loose change in between the car seats or the remote control that fell behind the couch.
  • Octopus Foot: Our useless and worthless human feet could be replaced with stupendous Octopus Technology to climb walls and hang from ceiling fans.
  • Pet Robot Octopus: Why not? Enjoy the fun of a Pet Octopus walking crawling slithering octopus-ing across the floor and bringing you beers but without the 500-gallon aquarium. And without the embarrassing (and inevitable) "Holy-fuck-I've-got-a-REAL-LIVE-Octopus-on-my-goddamn-face" 911 call.
  • Octopus Mobile Phone: No more "Oh Shit" moments where your phone gets dropped, stepped on, kicked, run over by cars. With this Octopus Technology, your phone would be virtually indestructible.
Thanks for all that you can offer us, Octopus Technology. We have certainly come a long way from putting suction cups on everything and throwing a gel-like octopus on the wall and watch it tumble down.

We're looking forward to vastly improving our sad, Octopus-Technology-less lives.


The robot octopus submarine is only the beginning!

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