Dear NBA Playoffs,

Let's be honest here. You are WAY too long. These best-of-seven first round series are absolutely brutal.

Let's speed up the early rounds a bit. Let's give it some of that college basketball excitement!

Listen. We get it. It's all about the dollars. Longer playoffs, more television, more advertising, etc.

It's mid-April now. And the NBA Finals start in early June. You've got to be kidding me, right? Where's the sense of urgency? Speed it up, NBA Playoffs!


Regards,
Everyone

Update (18 May '09): You're still taking way too long. We originally wrote this letter on 19 April. That's basically a month ago and we're only just entering the Western and Eastern Conference finals. Jeez.

Sure, that Lakers-Rockets and Celtics-Magic series going to Game 7 was pretty exciting but c'mon. We just get exhausted thinking about yet another set of seven game series.

Let's just skip ahead to the NBA Finals! Let's just match up the Lakers and Cavaliers already - that's what Nike and Vitamin Water want anyway - and just give the NBA their ratings and their money.

You know David Stern is currently pulling the strings right now to make Lakers-Cavs happen.

For the best interest of the Association, of course. And ratings. And sponsors.


Knowledge:

• http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/playoffs
• NBA conspiracy theories.

I think these adverts are pretty awesome:

Dear Vitamin Water Vending Machine,

Not too long ago, we learned that some vending machines take credit cards and we also learned some new Vitamin Water flavors.

What we discovered the other day takes the best of both worlds and puts them into one machine. That machine is you, Vitamin Water Vending Machine.

When we walked past you, we did a double-take. Our heads snapped back, wondering, "Did we just have a stroke? Are we hallucinating?" This is no dream. This is reality. Our hearts were filled with joy.

You could never let us down, Vitamin Water Vending Machine. Keep up the fantastic work.


Regards,
Everyone

Some people like to play those "Desert Island..." games. Like, what are the Top 5 foods you'd have on a desert island or what hot babes/dudes would you want to have on the island or the Top 5 albums you'd take to a desert island.

But I've got a new spin on this game: What are your Top 3 Desert Island Vending Machines?

3. M&M vending machine.
2. A beer vending machine.
1. And, of course, the Vitamin Water Vending Machine.

N.B. Photo taken with my Canon PowerShot SD1100IS.

Dear New Vitamin Water Flavors,

You guys taste pretty delicious! You are especially helpful during hangovers.

Interesting to point that - at the time of publication - you are not officially on the Vitamin Water web site!

How mysterious!


Regards,
Everyone

Vitamin Water Sync (Berry-Cherry; "Download of vitamins and antioxidants") and Tranquilo (Tamarind and Pineapple; "A+C+E"). Here they are in captivity as found at my local 7-Eleven convenience store:


N.B. Photo taken with my Canon PowerShot SD1100IS.