21 April 2009

Dear Alex Rodriguez,

You're a douche bag.

You know that, right?

With the baseball season in full-swing, we felt like we needed to remind you of your douche-ness.

It's more than just the alleged steroid use cheating. It's more than just the cheating on your wife (with freakin' Madonna). And it's more than just the lack of timely hits in the playoffs.

It's doing things like a magazine spread with Details kissing yourself in the mirror.

It's saying things like:
When people write [bad things] about me, I don't know if it's [because] I'm good-looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team.
You're the like the hot girl or guy who knows they are hot. And that just makes you, well, not as hot.

It's being a little bitch and yelling at a Blue Jay infielder when you're running the bases.
"I just said, 'Hah!' That's it," Rodriguez said. "Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't."
Are you kidding me? You're the highest paid baseball player in the game. You are quite possibly the best baseball player we have ever seen. And you're resorting to the ol' "Ahhh" trick? We're pretty sure we haven't done that since we were 10-years-old.

It's all this and more which makes this satire article almost believable!
Rodriguez immediately embraced the idea of being the first professional athlete to trade (presumably as AROD) on a major stock exchange.
[The Sportsman's Daily]

Nobody is jealous because you are good looking or because you're such an awesome player or because you're paid so much or because you're on the Yankees.

Everybody hates you because you're just a douche bag. And you do douchey things. Plain and simple.



1 comment:

  1. Dear Everyone

    Speak for yourself.