24 April 2009

Dear Baby Shaker iPhone App,

Recently Apple apologized and pulled you from their virtual shelves:
CUPERTINO, Calif. (AP) — Apple Inc. is apologizing for allowing a 99-cent iPhone game called "Baby Shaker" that let a player quiet a virtual crying infant by shaking the device.
The argument against you - of course - has been from horrified parents and advocates against the abuse of children. They're pointing fingers at you, Baby Shaker iPhone App and claiming that you are setting a bad example.

Right. This game is setting a bad example. We want to shake babies until they die. Just like how watching drugs, rapes, murders, and Nazis on television makes us want to use hard drugs, rape women, murder grandparents, and Nazi around the town.

But do not despair, Baby Shaker iPhone App! We urge you to carry on! Our fear is that without you people will be shaking their babies to death!

You provided a service. Frustrated parents and caregivers could have just violently shaken an iPhone instead of a baby. Their frustrations could have been released on a picture that looks like a Gerber baby sketch instead of a real baby.

According to some sources, 480 babies die each year because someone shook them instead of an iPhone.

We can save those lives.

Come back to us, Baby Shaker App. And come back with a new marketing slogan: Shake an iPhone, Not A Baby.


Is this game in bad taste? Probably. But c'mon, lighten up people.


  1. hahahaha, what an awesome game. I don't have an iPhone but if I did I think it would enjoy a good shaking.

  2. Someone tell them to port this to the Wii.