01 April 2009

Dear Green Death Soccer Coach,

We're on your side.

We get it. You were being funny. You were down with a little satire, a little exaggeration. The fact that you had to resign is a complete and utter travesty!

How could they have a problem with your inspiring and encouraging and obviously tongue-in-cheek e-mail? Here are some highlights:
  • The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them.
  • The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines.
  • America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival...
  • I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy.
  • Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?
All we see here, Green Death Soccer Coach, is you trying to empower these girls, giving them confidence and make them stronger.

And ultimately, these e-mails were going to the parents! Not the 6- or 7-year-old soccer munchkins themselves.

So those parents who complained? They are sad, humorless squares who probably complained about Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson when that "wardrobe malfunction" happened. Insane! How could these parents take your e-mail seriously? Unbelievable.

Your resignation letter states that you "do not apologize" for your actions.

And you never should.

We get it. And we're with you man!



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