23 March 2009

Dear Prius Drivers,

Some people are aggressive drivers. Some people are cautious drivers. Some people are safe drivers. Some people are respectful drivers. But I have never seen someone drive in a self-righteous way until I saw you, Prius Driver.

We get it. You spent the extra money to buy this fuel-efficient - but costly - motor vehicle. After all, if you don't, who will?

So, you drive with this smug self-righteousness:
  1. You drive the speed limit. Exactly the speed limit. Not a mph faster, not a mph slower.

  2. You leave at least 4 car-lengths between your Precious Prius and the car in front of you.

  3. You don't run through yellow lights.

  4. You make full and complete stops.

  5. You park on the side of Wilshire during the time you're not supposed to park and just casually flip on your hazard lights thus ensuring people see your self-righteousness. As if to say, "Look at me. I'm driving a Prius and holding up goddamn traffic."

  6. You have some sort of nut-case liberal sticker on the back that make normal Democrats cringe and make Republicans want to stockpile more guns.

  7. You have this smug look on your face at the gas station when you visit the pump for the first time this month.

  8. You have the right of way. Every way. Every time.

  9. UPDATE: You get in a fender-bender with another car and you step out of the car and yell at the other driver: "I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A GODDAMN ACCIDENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! EVER." Woah there, Prius Driver, we get it. You are a perfect driver. You can do no wrong.

  10. UPDATE (5 August 2009): You creep all the way into a busy intersection trying to make a left turn without any regard for the oncoming traffic speeding at you at 40mph. But you have to make the left turn. You deserve to make people slam on their brakes so you can make that turn. Asshole.
The list goes on and on.

We get it, Prius Driver. You're single-handedly saving the world.

Screw you.


Tell me about your experiences with a smug, self-righteous Prius Driver!


  1. Joey this is my favorite post yet!!! (i say this on every 3 posts) but seriously, those damn smug prius drivers with their silently idling cars. . . .i heard somewhere that prius's are a hazard to pedestrians because people can't hear that they're on.

    true story.


  2. You know, I don't think I'd mind the Prius Smugness so much if the cars looked a little cooler, and less like a "back massager" from Sharper Image.

    The Ford Fusion is nice-looking, if you're the sedan type.

    The Tesla Roadster is all kinds of all-electric sex.

  3. Why don't people drive vintage cars/cars that aren't manufactured in this polluted decade if they want to be seriously earth friendly? I'm starting an adopt an 80s Escort program. Will that fit on a bumper sticker?

    BTW: I saw Ryan Gossling at Mimi's in Silverlake getting out of a Prius. He is SO CUTE.

  4. i totally want one!

  5. Man now I'm just pissed off at Prius drivers and Ryan Gosling. That little better than thou geek Prius driving Canadian jerk!!! Dammit.

  6. this deserves the direct link to the flash video clip of the 'smug' south park episode.

    "Good for youuuuuuuu. I try to be part of the SOLUTION not part of the PROBLEM...."