08 April 2009

Dear Steven Segal,

Where are you? We see that your Twitter hasn't been updated in ages.

You have gone missing. Or have you been sent on some secret mission by the United States government?

We know you can't really say but when seemingly ordinary Americans transporting food to Africa suddenly rise up to fight back ruthless Somalian pirates gives cause for our collective eyebrow to rise.
[T]he 20-member crew -- which was unarmed, according to the ship's owner -- managed to overpower the pirates and regain control, according to U.S. officials.
[LA Times]
Unarmed crew members? Overpowering swashbuckling AK-47-buckling pirates?

Let's be honest here, Steve. Those lily-livered bleeding-heart liberals taking food to Africa aren't going to be the ones fighting off those pirates. There has to be an X-Factor. A SEGAL-FACTOR.

So, our collective hat is off to you, sir. Thanks for saving Americans from pirates.


Chuck Norris, you've had your day in the sun. It's Segal Time.


  1. Very funny! I'll be back to read more.

  2. He's not missing. He just got old. And what makes you think he knows how to tweet?

  3. He's probably concentrating on his music career.

  4. I think Chuck Norris outspokenly supported Huckabee for president. Maybe that's why his day in the sun has ended.