05 May 2009

Dear Jean-Claude Van Damme,

Listen, when you first hit the scene, you were pretty incredible. Movies like Bloodsport, Kickboxer and Lionheart may have single-handedly revived the martial arts/action movie genre.

But then came films like Double Impact (We can't suspend that much belief), Universal Soldier, Street Fighter, Timecop, Double Team (Yep, the one with Dennis Rodman), Legiona--, well, we won't continue. You probably get the point.

But then you turn around with this piece of brilliance:

Jean-Claude, you've outdone yourself! JCVD looks absolutely awesome. We can't wait to pick this up on DVD on 25 April '09.

According to the Wikipedia, writer/director Mabrouk El Mechri has drawn upon some impressive influences: Spike Jonze, Charlie Kaufman, Robert Richardson.

So, Jean-Claude, you've surprised us with a depth that runs contrary to your many direct-to-video action films. The level of self-awareness and the ability to poke fun at your career is a revelation. And let's not forget that you seem to have done some proper acting here as well!

We are impressed. Well done, sir. May we never doubt you again.

Well, unless of course you go and do something stupid like make Universal Soldier 3.

P.S. So, Jean-Claude, we saw this movie. And it was pretty fucking incredible. Who knew that you had so much acting ability? This is definitely a "once-in-a-career" sort of thing and you nailed it right on the head.

Would it be too much to ask for more performances like this? Probably. You did set the bar pretty high.

But we'll watch your next film (on DVD) with the satisfaction of knowing what you are capable of.

Now back to the status quo!
Crap. There IS a third Universal Soldier film coming out. Goddamn you, Van Damme!!!

Knowledge (this guy does a surprising amount of double roles):

1 comment:

  1. I actually saw this. It's awesome.