For decades we've been taught to love our curly-tailed friends! We've been taught to respect you and care about you, Pig. We all
But now we are growing to fear you!
WASHINGTON - The world’s governments raced to avoid both a pandemic and global hysteria Sunday as more possible swine flu cases surfaced from Canada to New Zealand and the United States declared a public health emergency.We had to declare a health emergency because of you, you goddamn Pig! Unbelievable! This sort of hogwash isn't supposed to happen here.
Swine Flu is transmitted if a human touches you. We're not touching any of you for a very long time. But someone has. Some -
Canada became the third country to confirm cases, in six people, including some students who — like some New York City spring-breakers — got mildly ill in Mexico.We're not sure what is worse: You Pigs not getting their flu shots every season or these stupid humans handling you Pigs when they should be enjoying foam parties in Cancún.
So, Pig, if you know what's good for you, you'll steer clear from us. We're looking forward to a great summer and not a summer in bed fighting off the Swine Flu.
That'll do, Pig. That'll do.
No, really. We're not kidding. Cut it out.
I hope we can still eat pigs because I had a great BLT last night.