Dear Lawrence Taylor,

Usually we tend to say, "Listen we get it..." but, listen, we don't get it.

We do get that you like young chicks. We get that you like to pay for sex. We get that you like to spare no expense at the Holiday Inn.

But let's be honest here: Your pimp couldn't get you someone legal?

We're shaking our heads here. We just don't get it.

Isn't there some sort of provision in the Client-Pimp relationship that makes sure that the client doesn't end up with a rape charge?

Then again, you forgot the first rule of buying sex: Never trust a pimp.

Why can't you be like other respectable high-powered businessmen, politicians, pro-athletes and Tiger Woods and just get yourself a porn star or a stripper?

Oh, wait, that's right. You're kind of a sick fuck.


Allegedly.

Regards,
Everyone

PS: And LT, you better get some thank you cards from Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and Big Rape Roethlisberger. You took the cake on this one.

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