Oh, how I [1. love] [2. hate] you!
Some people might say that you're such a [1. Hallmark-created] [2. romantic] holiday. But fuck them. They don't understand how [1. wonderful] [2. vomit-inducing] this day can be!
What can be more [1. fantastic] [2. "fantastic"] than celebrating this [1. day of love] [2. day for martyrs]?
Now I'm off to [1. spend this day with my one and only] [2. slit my wrists if I see one more Valentine's Day advert].
[1. Love,] [2. Regards,]
Choose your own adventure! Please pick 1. or 2. and stick with it. Or mix it up a bit if you like confusing yourself. Happy Valentine's Day you jackals.