Dear Bucket,

You are an amazing alternative unit of measurement. Better than all those other silly ones.

A lot of kittens? Lame.
A boatload cocaine? Way too much.
A fuck-ton of ice cream? Stupid.
A pile of money? C'mon. Really?

But imagine if it was bucket of kittens? Cocaine? Ice cream? And money?

Listen, a fuck-ton of ice cream would be absolutely wonderful but it's not useful at all! It's just hyperbole.

We get it. "Fuck-ton" or "pile" or "boatload" does indeed get the point across. But it's not as useful in every day life. But with you, Bucket, you get a true idea of how much awesomeness you have.

You can't really go wrong with using you to quantify something. In many ways, you are like Baby Bear's porridge: Just right.



Regards,
Everyone