Dear (Western Christian) God,

The ash thing is cool, but I think you need to talk to your marketing guys (St. Paul, maybe?) and do better giveaways!

People just don't like getting ash on their forehead anymore, everyone is always like "Dude, you've got dirt on your forehead" and then you have to be, like, "No, fuck you. It's Ash Wednesday you non-believing asshole."

How are we supposed to convert the masses with dirt on our faces?!

I say do more things like Palm Sunday! You get awesome palm fronds! Sometimes they twist up the fronds to make them look like crosses. And if you turn 'em around, it's like a palm sword!! Fun for the whole family.

Do more things like Palm Sunday. And, FYI, In-N-Out makes a better body and blood of Christ. Just sayin'

Thanks God, take care.


Regards,
Everyone

Knowledge!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ash_Wednesday