15 April 2009

Dear In-N-Out Bible Verses,

To most people familiar with the always-incredible In-N-Out burgers they know about you, In-N-Out Bible Verses.

But those people simply chalk it up to some religious psychosis and that's probably correct. Although, to your credit, you're not as crazy as those Chik-fil-A folks.

But we think there's something more to you, In-N-Out Bible Verses. We think you're saying that eating In-N-Out is truly a religious experience. As if you needed any help there!

Let's examine this a bit here:

On your cheeseburgers you have Revelation 3:20

"Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to you and eat with you, and you with me."
Ahh. What a delicious verse! Imagine having In-N-Out at your door (instead of the apocalypse).

On your soda cups is the trite John 3:16

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life."
Correct us if we're wrong, but we think you're saying that your soda is like Jesus Christ. And both may or may not give you eternal life.

We already know that soda is bad for you and leads to all sorts of health issues that can make you die an untimely death.

As for Christ? Well, there's that whole faith thing we're supposed to have. But no word on eternal life.

C'mon, Jesus. The ball is in your court.

Now some milkshakes (it means blowjob, right?) allegedly brings boys to the yard while the In-N-Out milkshake cup brings you Proverbs 3:5

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight."
We get it! Trust in this milkshake as you would the Lord. Sometimes you just have to give yourself up to the Lord or a Neapolitan milkshake. Sometimes drinking liquid acid a milkshake REALLY fast can make you see the Lord.

Wait, there's more! Your Double-Double (Mmm. Double-Double) wrapper has Nahum 1:7 (this book actually exists, it's between Micah and Habakkuk)

"The LORD is good, a stronghold in a day of trouble; he protects those who take refuge in him,"
We are led to believe that a Double-Double - much like the Lord - is good in a day of trouble double-trouble. Some people are emotional eaters. It happens. Sometimes you get a 5x5 and you eat all of it on a dare. It happens.

So, there you have it In-N-Out Bible Verses!

Much like a History Channel program or a pseudo-intellectual Dan Brown novel, we have deciphered your code.

But let's be honest here, you don't really need the Lord to help you sell your food.

Just sayin'


I'll bet you want In-N-Out right now. I know I do.


N.B. Bible verse photos taken with my Canon PowerShot SD1100IS (except for Nahum 1:7 and the food).


  1. mmmm In-n-out burger. There's a reason why their glory hasn't spread across the country. I don't think many people can live through its rapture.

  2. We have a lot of good food here on the East Coast, but no In-N-Out! I think we're too Catholic/Jewish/secular for a chain that prints Bible verses on its packaging. Also, In-N-Out has friendly customer service, and that does not exist here (although we do have a restaurant chain called Friendly's).

    That last picture looks SO good. I definitely need some In-N-Out on my next trip West. And Rubios. And Jack in the Box. And Carl's Jr.

  3. There aren't any In-N-Out feederies in Oregon. I was raised in Reno but left a long time ago, well before they started serving in Nevada. So I've never had their food and have wouldn't have known about these crazy Bible verse additions to your meal without this post.

    Thus spaketh Lydia.

  4. Brett Rusin20 January, 2010

    Crazy Bible verses? Since the beginning God just wanted to love us and be with us. He sent prophet after prophet, sent His Son to take our wrath of sin and has freely given us the Holy Spirit to counsel and comfort us. And he is right there waiting, standing,knocking on the door of our hearts waiting for us to let him in. Yet He is mocked as if he is insignificant.
    Whomever it was that put these verses on these cups and bags opened the door of their heart and found that living for Him is the least they could do for Him who gave it all. It is foolishness to live as if you'll never die. Don't die with a foolish heart, eternity is a long time to be wrong.

  5. In-N-Out is overrated, and so is religion.

  6. Anonymous26 July, 2010

    Oh mannnn having Bible verses is soooo crazy! WTF! I couldn't eat at a place that would do such a thing, they might convert me!!!